i need an iv and a liver transplant
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
