It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize