he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
