DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
