billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
In America we eat man semen.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize