just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
