I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
