i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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