remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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