You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize