i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Omg I joined a choir last night...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
