i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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