Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
