she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
