You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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