he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
