im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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