We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
