She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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