Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sorry about my life...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
