is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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