just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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