she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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