Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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