Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
