rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
