are you so shy because you have an std?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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