if you like me you must not know who I am
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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