i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
