hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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