I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
