Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize