Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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