We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
