You really coming over, don't trick.
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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