He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
