They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
