I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Girls should come with a carfax report
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
