I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
