i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
