What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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