He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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