so that wasnt chicken after all
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
