Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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