I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
