and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize