It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
