i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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