You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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