The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
