Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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