Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
