it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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