She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
