Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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