Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
