turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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