sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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