I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
