so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
