I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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