her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There's a naked man in my car right now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
