I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
