the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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