I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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