Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
