U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
